


Sweetest Downfall

by Anki_Shai



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, But they are not the real people, Fanmix drabbles, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of different lives, Mentions of real names from the characters, Thorin and Thranduil using familiar names, just using the name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:38:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anki_Shai/pseuds/Anki_Shai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of Thorin Oakenshield and Thranduil through time and space. It is only unfortunate that Thranduil seems to be the only one remembering the former passions and hidden feelings they had for each other. Or so he thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweetest Downfall

**Author's Note:**

> These are a series of drabbles that are the companion of a fanmix I have been working on (you can find them here: http://anki-of-beleriand.tumblr.com/post/44584621843/fanmix-sweetest-downfall-thorin-thranduil-this) . Hope you like it.

 

**Track 1 – Something I can Never have - NIN**

_In this place it seems like such a shame._

_Though it all looks different now,_

_I know it's still the same_

_Everywhere I look you're all I see._

_Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be._

_I just want something I can never have_

 

There were stares of thirsty men, hunger and desire burning in their eyes. It was not the gem at the top of Thrór’s throne what keep him coming back; it was the burning in his heart of an impossible want.  It was the dreams in the middle of the night, the sounds of his own passion as his cold hand took possession of his unbidden desire imagine, dreaming, of possessing those dark blue eyes, those sharp royal features, the dark beard brushing against his skin. It was the aching of his heart and the knowledge that, it didn’t matter what he tried, Thorin son of Thráin would always be out his reach.

Unknowingly to the Elven-King, Prince Thorin would imagine his fair skin, his long, blond hair, those clear blue eyes, that arrogant smile as he brought himself to complexion with the name of the Elven-King upon his lips.

 

**Track 2 – Gave it all away – RED**

_You're here, trembling with fear_

_You made it clear_

_You turned your back and now you've gone astray_

_Nothing left to say_

_What's standing in your way?_

_You had the chance to never walk alone_

 

It was a different time. A different home.

He cracked a smile at the irony; this time around he turned his back on him, selling him to his enemies for duty, honor and country. He opened his eyes with a fine layer of tears covering the intensity of his blue irises.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He tilted his head, blood pouring from his broken lip. He heard the broken voice, the madness taking over those eyes, he just smiled, brokenly, at the tall figure in front of him.

“Would you have believed me?” He asked, his voice fading slowly. “Would you have believed the crazy story about another land, another live in which you and I were never possible?”

Thorin clenched his jaw, his nails breaking the skin of his palms. He leaned forward pressing his forehead against Thranduil’s one.

“Yes, yes I would have believed you.” Thranduil chuckled stealing a kiss, a kiss he never got the chance to steal before.

“Liar.”

 

**Track 3 – So far Away – Staind**

_Now that we're here,_  
 _It's so far away_  
 _All the struggle we thought was in vain_  
 _All in the mistakes,_  
 _One life contained_  
 _They all finally start to go away_  


He smiles for this is all he can do. It doesn’t reach his eyes, though for his heart is breaking slowly at the sight before him.

Once again they meet, but this time he does not remember and this time around Thorin’s heart belongs to another. He glances his way bows out of respect for his Prince but not because there is recognition in his still blue eyes. The Prince, for he is a Prince this time around, Bows back in acknowledgement making the man that calls himself his father to lift his eyebrows in surprise. Thranduil has never shown the courtesy of bowing back or even recognize others the same way he does this merchant.

“Do you know him?” Thranduil turns to his father, so much different than the one he remembers, this one is serious, cunning and lethal. A King in times of war and deception.

He pounders on the question and briefly wonders if the Valar are up there, mocking him, laughing at his misfortune. Twice now he had come across Thorin Oakenshield, and twice he has been aware of his old life, of their old lives.

“No, I do not.”

“Do you desire him, then?” Thranduil clenches his jaw trying to remain impassive but his father notices and he smirks. “Good, because your job is to make sure his little empire of naval trading forges an alliance with us. He would make a great assess to our goals.”

Thranduil does not say anything, he just observes the smiling form of Thorin as he kisses his wife, his hand placing itself with care and love on her abdomen as the men around him smile and celebrate.

Yes, he is certain the Valar must be laughing at him.

 

**Track 4 – Blood on my hands – The Used**

_Straight from your eyes_

_it's barely me, beautifully._

_So disfigured, this other side_

_that you can't see._

_Just praying you won't remember._

 

Thranduil sobs feeling the blade pierce through his skin, the sharp pain of cold steel sliding deep inside his muscle, moving through the tendon and finally going through his bone. He gasps his eyes looking straight into his killer’s ones.

“I’m sorry, my Prince. But, with you dead and your father execute my people would finally live in peace.” Thranduil tastes the blood on his mouth and his mind is too dizzy to form any coherent thought. The last thing he sees before dead is the one thing his heart stops beating for: Thorin.

 

**Track 5 – Wait it out – Imogen Heap**

_Everybody says that time heals everything_

_What of the wretched hollow, the endless in between?_

_Are we just going to wait it out?_

_Sit here, just going to wait it out_

_Sit here cold, just going to sweat it out_

_Wait it out_

 

By the time he wakes up on his next life, Thranduil is ready to give up. They said time cures everything; but Thranduil differs from such an opinion. If anything time makes everything more difficult to face him every time with a different name, a different life and a different purpose. This time around they are far away, he has been born in the desert and Thorin has been born in the plains of ice to the north. They have meet, of course, for Thranduil’s misery wouldn’t be complete if he hasn’t been near of the one who he can never have.  

“Here , Lad. You look as if you could use a little heat there.” Thranduil shivers but it is not due to the cold but the closeness of the man in front of him. Thorin smirks at him, mockingly, as he wraps his coat made of fur.

“Thank you.” But, he is already gone, back to where the others have been singing and drinking. He sighs looking up to the brightest star of them all and waits. Perhaps, next time, Thorin will remember and his misery would be finally over.

 

**Track 6 – Samson – Regina Spektor**

_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first_

_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth_

_I have to go, I have to go_

_Your hair was long when we first met_

 

It was mandatory for all military men to have their hair cut the moment they entered the Academy.

He wore the dark uniform with pride and solemnly, his eyes (always blue, dark blue) moving lazily from one prisoners to the other. His orders had been cleared, to stop the rebels at all costs. He was not a cruel man, but orders were orders and he had become a Captain because of his timely accomplishments. He walked slowly watching each one of them, remembering their faces, their fears because they knew…oh, yes, they knew execution was the next step in this façade.

He stopped, suddenly, fixating his eyes in the last figure. Young, with long, silver blond hair and clear blue eyes; the young man lifted his face in arrogance and defiance. Something inside his brain clicked, something akin to a foreign memory; the taste of an unknown name upon his tongue as he leaned in taking the chin of this man between his hand.

“Your name?” He asked and the young man cracked a bitter smile, his eyes losing the spark that made them look alive.

“After all this time…and still you’re incapable of remember me.”

 

**Track 7 – Come Taste the Rainbow – Example**

_I was never like this then I got older_

_Some say wiser, some say cold_

_Don't say I didn't warn you, I already told you_

_I’m just battling demons_

 

How long has it been?

Years? Centuries? Millennia?

He sat with his back to the cold stone, the shadows covering his figure as the fireworks of the New Year filled the night sky. He swallowed his fears, his tears, his misery as he drank another long sip from the bottle. He had given up, his heart, his soul couldn’t take it anymore. He was not the same Elven-King he had been once…

“Hey! Roy! You ‘kay?” Thranduil tilted his head to see a familiar figure approaching him, someone he never thought he would see again. Of course, in this world, in this age, his name had changed but he was still the same Bilbo Baggins he had met once.

“Yes, I am.” Bilbo frowned dropping his backpack while sitting beside Thranduil.

“You don’t look okay to me.” He said glancing at the bottle of alcohol in Thranduil’s hand. “You shouldn’t do that, the doctor said…”

“Frankly, I don’t care. This is the only way I can…”Thranduil trailed off closing his eyes to evade the confrontation with Bilbo. Bilbo’s face fell; he wrapped his arm around Thranduil’s leg resting his head on the knee.

“I wish you could tell me; perhaps, I could help you fight those demons of yours.” Thranduil didn’t answer and guilty crawled his way up to his heart and mind. He shouldn’t be using Bilbo as a means to forget, he shouldn’t take advantage of the obvious affection this Bilbo held for him.

He was a bastard all right.

 

**Track 7 – Sex and Violence – Scissor Sisters**

_Oh, I need a witness to see the mess I've made_

_There's a broken lampshade, ashtrays, burnt floors, beds unmade_

_Eyes sleeping if you are dream, dream of what I'm doing_

_To you, undo you, I'm through with you until I need a round of_

_Every time I spend myself it never runs too low_

 

There was a loud moan coming from the room.

He looked right into those eyes, the pale skin, the blond hair, long and straight falling onto the face contorted in pleasure as he thrust once more, angling his hips so his shaft would brush that soft spot deep inside his lover. There was another set of moans, a curse in a language he hadn’t bothered to learn yet. He grabbed the hair in his hands putting the head of the male under him backwards, his other hand gripping with bruising force the hips as he thrust harder, faster, without any mercy.

“Open your eyes!” He commanded with a breathy voice, the man opened his eyes and he saw the clear blue there, the one that hunted his dreams at night. Who was him? Not this wench he hired for the night, not this poor copy of the man lurking on his dreams…No. The other one…now _he_ could make it cry could in passion, the man in his dreams could make him touch himself and unbidden desires he didn’t knew he possess.

The man under him whimpered as he thrust again, “You may cum.”

The man groaned in satisfaction as he reached his climax with a loud scream and a burst of semen tainting the bed sheets under him. He watched as that faced contorted in pleasure he grunted biting his lower lip as he spilled inside the man. There was one name, though, one beautiful name that exploded in his mind the moment he gave himself to the pleasure of his climax.

_Thranduil._

 

**Track 9 – Close Enemies – Example**

_There's light at the end of the tunnel_

_There's fight at the heart of a struggle_

_You're smile should've told me you're trouble_

_You owned me_

_You buried all my worth with a shovel_

 

He smiled shyly at him.

A shy Thorin, he snorted at the thought. He inclined his head grabbing the top of his cane with graceful hands, his coat falling heavily on his shoulders.

“You must be, Mister Grinner.” He nodded briefly feeling the heavy stare of Bilbo, now John, on him. “We were waiting for you.”

“Indeed.” It had been difficult to utter any kind of response as that smile unarmed him the moment it was directed to himself. It had been the first downfall for Thranduil, the smile of the arrogant, yet noble prince of Erebor. The deathliest weapon Thrór had in his arsenal. Even if the stubborn King didn’t know it.

Now, now it was surely driving Thranduil mad with need and longing for this smile…this tentative, shy smile was something new. His heart beat painfully, his hands closed tightly as he tried to keep himself under control.

He needed for this to go well or else…the lives of his people depended on this mission to be successful. By now, Thranduil had gotten used to the humor of the Valar, always placing Thorin right in front of him but out of his reach.

Thorin, who called himself this time around Heinz, turned around walking ahead of them. Bilbo closed his hand around Thranduil’s wrist, the taller man turned to his companion and saw the hurt and question in his eyes.

“Do you know him?” He whispered low enough for Thranduil to hear him.

“No, I do not.” He felt as he had already answer this question before, Bilbo frowned and scowled as Thorin glanced back at them and his stare stayed with Thranduil more than should be necessary.

“He seems to want to know you really well.” Bilbo moved closer to Thranduil. “Be careful; remember he is still the enemy.”

Thranduil nodded, how could he forget? “Remember:  keep your friends closer…”

“…And your enemies closer.” Finished Bilbo glancing worriedly at Thranduil.

 

**Track 10 – Skyfall – Adele**

_Where you go I go_

_What you see I see_

_I know I'd never be me_

_Without the security_

_Of your loving arms_

_Keeping me from harm_

_Put your hand in my hand_

_And we'll stand_

 

Another time, another land.

He went back to drinking and his more extreme activities in searched for the peace he needed and craved. He went searching for the only one who seemed to actually keep his sanity intact. The problem was, this time around, Bilbo have everything Thranduil dreamt of.

He had the smile; he had the loving stare, the focus of those blue eyes on him. Thorin had ended up on Bilbo’s arms this time around. Perhaps it was what people in this age called _Karma;_ he had used Bilbo after all.

It seemed to him as if his sole purpose in his life was to watch from a distance, to always be there but unable to touch, to reach out for his heart’s desire. He saw his world crumbled with each life he lived. He felt strong hands closing around his shoulders, turning him around roughly. The man sneered at him, pressing his back against the wall.

“You didn’t think it was over, did you?” Thranduil didn’t answer; he just stared coldly at his owner. The man roamed with his eyes the naked figure of Thranduil, licking his lips before looking to the same place Thranduil had been looking moments ago. “Someday…someday I will introduce you to my uncle. Uncle Lucas is a great man and his boyfriend, Arthur, is a doctor or something.”

Thranduil clenched his jaw as he imagined other hands, other mouth, and other person claiming his lips in a bruising kiss. This was the closest he would get to Thorin, Kili has always looked after all like a young version of Thorin.

 

**Track 10 – Demons – Imagine Dragons**

_They say it's what you make_  
 _I say it's up to fate_  
 _It's woven in my soul_  
 _I need to let you go_  
 _Your eyes, they shine so bright_  
 _I want to save their light_  
 _I can't escape this now_  
 _Unless you show me how_  


“Please…just…just safe him.” He nodded curtly taking away the hand of the man closing around his arm so he could run down the hall to the operating room.

Doctor Alec Track watched the bloodied face of the unconscious man and something in his subconscious stirred. A flash of a memory he couldn’t grasp for they had arrived and, if he wanted to save the life of this man, he would need all his concentration to do so.

It was in the middle of the night when he entered the room of his patient. He had learnt his name was Aaron Tyler and his companion, a childhood friend, was Tim Canterbury. A terrible accident due to Aaron’s ability to get into trouble, or so the police said; he moved closer to the sleeping figure making sure Tim was fast asleep.

“Who are you?” His voice, deep and soft was meant only for the sleeping man. He knew that face, Alec, knew he did. That blond hair, the soft skin under his fingertips…it was all too familiar to ignore it. His mind was still nagging him, pressing him to try and _remember._

He didn’t know how long he had been there and he wasn’t aware of the man waking up until he felt a hand brush against his. He gasped looking up and finding himself looking into a pair of light, blue eyes. There was an attempt of a smile in the beaten face and Alec, Thorin, realized he could not look away from those eyes.

He was trapped under those eyes, their light enchanting him in ways he had never felt before. He had not preferences for men, but…He gulped feeling a heavy pressure at the back of his head. A warm, weak hand closed around his and then as soon as it did he thought he saw something.

_Fire. A mountain. An invaluable gem. A crown of leaves. Long, blond hair, mocking smile, a tall figure leaning in to whisper in his ear._

_“What do you say, Prince Thorin?”_

Doctor Alec Track gasped, opening his eyes as he let go of that hand, he took a step backwards, the last thing he remembered after abandoning the room was those eyes looking at him with longing and disappointment.

 

**Track 12 – Hymn for the missing - RED**

_I tried to walk together_

_But the night was growing dark_

_Thought you were beside me_

_But I reached and you were gone_

_Sometimes I hear you calling_

_From some lost and distant shore_

_I hear you crying softly for the way it was before_

 

It was that dream again.

He had been having the same dream for the past three months, ever since he left the shores of his hometown to look for a better life, a better opportunity away from his land.  He stood up and made his way to the prow. It was still early, sun was just showing up on the horizon and the sky was a range of different shades of blue and red. He smiled enjoying the fresh air of dawn hitting him in the face.

He was the only one up here; it made it easier for him to think and remembered the pieces of his dream. It seemed important, somehow, for him to recall the face of the one calling out to him. Because, even if that wasn’t his name, he knew the figure was calling to him.

_Thorin_

It felt, tasted, familiar. William frowned for he did not recall anyone by that name; his parents had never even mentioned it as a tentative name. Besides, it didn’t sound as if it was a common name in his land.

He lifted his stare and saw the brightest star up in the sky. He felt drawn to it, as if the star was calling to him. William frowned for he heard it again, the voice of his dream, the one calling out to him, begging for him to come…the start flickered and then, as clear as the sea he saw the name of the star clearly in his mind.

“Eärendil.” The star seemed to answer to the name for it flickered in the same pattern as before, William frowned and then he remembered and the pain and longing he felt in his chest was like nothing he had felt before.

“Thranduil!”

 

**Track 13 – Peace & Quite – White Lies**

_Come peace and quiet_  
 _Your head on my heart_  
 _Anchored the storm in my eyes_  
 _I lay like a carcass_  
 _Your lips never letting the blood dry_  
 _And so I pray for tomorrow_  
 _And wait listening out for a reply_

 

It was not fair.

It was never fair the fact he remembered Thorin but Thorin seemed always far away from him. The man turned towards him approaching him with a soft smile adorning his face.

“I thought you would never make it.” Thranduil tried to return the smile but, as always, his expression was stoic, almost cold when he addressed Thorin.

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. Besides, I would have John nagging me for daring to miss out on your children’s birthday.”

Thorin, now Harry, smiled shyly at him. Thranduil would never get over the fact Thorin could, in other live at another time be shy. It was a foreign concept for him for Thorin had always been confident and straightforward. Still, this was a nice change; it usually made Thranduil’s heart beat faster and ached with sorrow and longing.

Thranduil went to move inside the house but Thorin stopped him before he could move. The former Elven-King tensed he turned around and something inside Thorin’s blue eyes glimmered with intensity.

“I was wondering,” His voice changed as well, deeper, soft and inviting; he stood closer to Thranduil almost pressing completely against the tall form of the former Elven-King. “If perhaps you wouldn’t mind accompanying me later this afternoon to a late dinner.”

“I’m not sure…” Started Thranduil trembling under the intense stare of Thorin. He wanted to cry in frustration, it was just not fair that Thorin was doing this to him without even realizing that every moment, every word, every look, every touch was breaking him apart.

“I insist.” Thranduil closed his eyes feeling the soft brush of Thorin’s lips against his, the warm breath on his face.

“I…I think I could manage.” He saw the smirk adorning the man’s face and he knew, he just knew, his heart would be broken all over again.

 

**Track 14 – A strange Education – The Cinematics**

_I'll walk this long road_  
 _'Till I find my way home_  
 _To somewhere familiar_  
 _To lay down my bones_  
  
 _The trouble is, nothing looks the same_  
 _The trouble is, I don't think it ever will_  
  
 _Oh, have you come for me?_  


He didn’t know how or where.

He just knew when.

It was after his first meeting with Mister Roy Walker. He felt a nagging pressure on his mind, as if there was something he must remember about this man but being incapable of recalling what it was.

It came to him like a lightning bolt.

_Erebor. Mirkwood. Middle Earth. Smaug. The Arkestone. Thorin. Thranduil._

Everything came back to him, the memories of what had happened after he had finally joined his forefather’s in the Hall of Mahal. His mind took him to those moments he had forgotten and Thranduil had been there. He saw and felt the blood, those glances Thranduil would always dedicate to him. He recalled every single moment, every single stare, every single meeting.

He felt complete; finally after wondering why there would always be a part of him that felt empty he understood the reason. And the reason had the same suffering, the same glistening and lost stare in his blue eyes. Those blue eyes that had hunted him in his best dreams and his worst nightmares; Thorin, Harry this time around, decided he would not wait, not anymore.

This time around he would make sure Thranduil would not spend his time with anybody else that wasn’t Thorin.

 

**Track 15 – Say you’ll hunt me – Stone Sour**

_Say you want to stay, you want me to_

_Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me_

_I want to know I belong to you_

_Say you'll haunt me_

How long has it been?

Years? Decades? Centuries? Millennia?

He turned him around trying to look the truth behind those clear, blue eyes; but he lowered his gaze trembling under Thorin’s hands.

“Tell me.” He whispered seeking answers to the still fresh images in his head. He felt the pain, the horror of the passing time and the longing he never understood. The final piece to his own puzzle, he lifted a hand and grabbed Thranduil’s chin lifting it slowly to make the man look at him.

“Has it always been like this for you? Has it always felt so…?”

“Empty, desperate, hopeless? As if a part of you is being ripped away from you?” Finished Thranduil with a watery voice. “Always.”

Thorin understood now why Thranduil had run away from him when he attempted to kiss him. To always be near of what you most desire, to the reason your heart beats every day and night and suddenly realizing he didn’t even remember you, he didn’t even care for you.

“How long, Thranduil?” Thranduil shivered closing his eyes at the sound of his name coming from Thorin. He cracked a bitter smile at the man in front of him.

“Too long.”

Thorin nodded he thought over what options he had and then, just like that he leaned in kissing Thranduil with all he had.

“Not anymore. This time around you’re mine and I will have you for as long as you have me.”  

 

 

 


End file.
